Conversations with Students

My 8th and 9th graders are very comical groups of students. They are still at the stage of language-learning where they are always excited to be speaking English so they talk all the time. This is a wonderful stage to teach because, as many teachers would agree, talkative students present many teachable moments. As a teacher, you take every teachable moment you can find because you're opening their world to so many new things, especially ELLs.

Here are a few of the conversations that have made me love my job so much more. Some come from what we're talking about for the lesson, but most are just random conversations generated by inquisitive 8th and 9th grade boys.

Adam: What is 'yo mama'?
Me: It's short for 'your mom.'
Adam: What does it mean?
Me: In America, sometimes people make fun of other people's moms by saying mean things about them.
At this point, all of the students are staring at me like I'm insane. Rightfully so.
Jeffrey: Like what?
Me: Ummm, like, yo mama so stupid, she tried to arrange her m&ms in alphabetical order.
*after about five seconds, one student laughs*
Me: Do you know what m&ms are?
Kevin: Yes! Ooohhhh! I get it.
Jeffrey: What's another one?
Me: Yo mama so stupid, she went to the dentist to get blue tooth.
Jeffrey: Oh! Yo mama so blue tooth!
Me: No. What? No. You have to be mean about it. You say things like fat or stupid or slow.
Jeffrey: Yo mama so awesome!
Me: Sure. Say that.

Beckham: Ms. Seed, what do you call it when you put a needle into an animal and they die?
Me: Lethal injection?!
Beckham: Lethal injection?
Me: Yeah, the verb is to euthanize. It means to kill someone or something with using a needle. Why?
Beckham: Do they do that to animals?
Me: Yeah, I guess.
Beckham: And human?
Me: Um, let's talk about something else.

Me: Okay, take out your class notebooks.
Jeffrey: Yes, sir!
Me: No. I'm not a boy. You say "yes ma'am!" to a girl.
Jeffrey: Yes man!
Me: No, Jeffrey. Ma'aM! with an M!
Jeffrey: Yes man!
Me: Forget it. Just say "yes, Ms. Seeds."
Jeffrey: Okay, Ms. Seed! You're welcome, Ms. Seed!

Jeffrey: Ms. Seed, how many boyfriends do you have?
Me: Eight.
Jeffrey: Oooh! Eight!?
Me: Yup!
Jeffrey: Mr. Foster has five. And Mr. Perez has too many.
Me: That sounds about right.

Me: Who do you pray to and what do you pray for?
Daryl: "We buy paper money and burn the paper money and pray for more money, but we get no money because we spent our money to buy the fake money to burn!"
Me: Why do you do this?
Daryl: Me?
Me: Yes, you.
Daryl: I don't do that! I'm Christian.
Me: Oh.... okay.

Daniel: How many children does Zeus have?
Me: A lot. He was a very busy man.
Daniel: What does that mean?
Me: He had a lot of children. Like fifty or something like that.
*Confused faces*
Daryl: With Hera?
Me: No, with different women.
*Confused faces*
Me: Ummm... How do I put this delicately...? He had sex with a lot of women and had a lot of children.
*laughter*
Me: Yup, I don't have to translate that word!
Daryl: (facetiously) What's "sex"?
Me: Ask your health teacher. Who is your P.E. teacher?
Clement: Ms. Chevron! She will say, "That's an indoor activity!"
*laughter*